I'm struggling today... I had such a busy day. I had so much work, I was there from 7-6 no breaks just powering through all my work (co worker was out so I had to do some of his work as well) I had my music on I had a pretty good day. I accomplished everything I wanted to get done. Can't complain there...and then. Around 5pm my roommate texted me and her bf in a group message something about she didn't know when either of us would be home but that she and the girls were making dinner. About an hour later another text came though that the dinner plans fell through (grilled cheese, turns out the cheese was bad) but that she had made soup and it was ready for whenever we arrived. I don't know why this sort of broke my heart...I had a long good day and all I could think of was my wife. How I wished she'd be waiting for me with dinner. I feel so loved and sometimes i feel as though I'm not appreciating the love and care they have for me. Like all I can focus on is the lack of love my w has or shows for me. How I just miss her. I wanted to call her and tell her how awesome work has been. How I registered for my new classes for next semester. How I'm so excited for our nieces birthday this weekend. And I can't. I feel stuck. I feel so stuck. I don't know what to do. I don't like feeling this way. I'm so tired of this. I feel ok and then something as a stupid "dinner is ready" text throws me completely off. Lt I know you said from your point of view it seems as though I am moving forward, and yes I guess I can see that. However, I can't help but to feel stuck and incomplete.
How do I get past the I'm happy I'm enjoying my life but not get so ridiculously down on myself when I miss my w (which is everyday) I'd love to hear anything. I feel like a little kid, who jus cries and cries and all I want is for my W to show up hug me and tell me it'll be ok. I know I've been through a lot. I know I'm strong because well I'm still here standing tall, on my own...so I think maybe all this blah and downess is inevitable. I've been so strong for so long. I feel like I'm falling apart and idk that I can pick up my own pieces again.
