Slowly losing my wife (2)

[ForGump]

She definitely works hard.

Working hard is not the same as mature. My children work hard building things with blocks, and on school projects.

Working hard is necessary but not sufficient. Lots of unhealthy adults work incredibly hard on completely the wrong things. It's about having some wisdom about running a balanced, empowered, healthy life. It's about having some individual identity and power.

In her own eyes she is apparently not a fully mature partner.

... because you do everything for her, like she's your child. She wants to feel empowered, independent.

Fairness means nothing to me. I just want a wife who desires me.

I agree that it's not good to focus too much on fairness. But if you just want a wife who desires you, no matter how unhealthy she is, and how unhealthy the relationship ... well, you're experiencing the result of that kind of a dynamic.

I'm going through the same thing Lex, and I do have the tendency to take care of everything for my W, and I had no problem doing that. Now I wish I had done things differently from day one of our relationship.