MLC H at age 32, maybe single mum with a toddler S

[Maybe]

I don't know what planet I was on when I first started DBing. I was a lot more positive. Maybe it's me in denial. Whatever that was had worn off. I can't looked at him and carry out normal conversations anymore. I am not detaching, I am now just close off. I don't know how to be open and not let myself be hurt. I understand he's in the fog, but I got angry, resentful all the same. I guess I overestimate myself for my unconditional love. I want to be his lighthouse, but I need to rescue myself first.

Good news is I am finally pulling back. I am very run down at the moment, definitely want to look after myself first. Asked H to be watch S more instead of worrying about S not being in my presence. Went to the first ballet class as my GAL. Was fun. Look forward to the next one. Working on treating H like a work colleague at work.