Thanks HaWho, trying to be calm and not let her affect me, especially not for her to see at least.
Thought I'd update since it's been a little while, not much new though.
W got an apartment last week. She was all excited, like a teenager moving out. She asked if she could come by my office to tell me about it before she picked. She had me look at a couple places, then told me I could go by to look at them if I wanted. I told her it was okay, I just wanted somewhere the kids were safe. She took a 4-plex next to a school so that is good. I'm not happy about giving up my kids every other week but inside I know I'm doing the right thing. They need their mom, they miss her. Hopefully the mother/w I know shows up soon though. She's been all up and gungho about this apartment. It is her latest problem solver so maybe the next step through this mess.
She hinted around about firewood and after joking to get it at the gas station I told her she could take some from the bin. She then suggested splitting a cord and keeping part of it here. IDK about this, maybe I'm being too nice. I don't burn it often but like to have a few days supply of wood for emergencies and have enough.
She also told me she wanted different Christmas ornaments since she is getting a tree for her apt. This was a big thing to her and I can tell she is bothered by what is up in my house. She told me she wanted some that were on the tree. I told her "you're a mean one Mr. Grinch" and she said, "well not now, after Christmas, LOL" then asked if she could take the nativity my mom gave her. I told her they were hers, I can't believe she wants them since they came from my mom.
I've had a horrible case of strep this last week and finally starting to feel better today. Unfortunately the kids got it Sunday night and I spent yesterday taking them to the Dr. and home from work with them. W had been okay, w/o any more d talk. Then today she got it. I could tell she was waiting for anything to get mad at. This weekend she tried to accuse me of talking **** to her friend because I talked to d's friend's mom at a bday party about our dogs but I smoothed it over(I had a brief stint of feeling better, and thought I was over it so I went out). She complained about being sick but said "not your fault" when I told her sorry. Then after I got to work her texts started. She was upset about a letter s wrote at the request of his teacher as Friday a kid at school grabbed his backpack and tore it up for no reason (I talked to him a lot about it and obviously this kid has problems). His spacing was bad. She asked if I was even spending time with them doing homework, etc. I didn't respond (it was upsetting as I get them ready, skip lunch so I can pick them up, take them to daycare, go back to work, then pick them up and go home to do homework, clean, dinner, etc.), so once again she contacts her lawyer... I asked why she was in a hurry to D and if it could wait until after the holidays. She said okay but was obviously annoyed. Now tonight she was talking to me about splitting Santa gifts. It would be kind of nice since things are kind of tight but IDK. I'm thinking of telling her we need to do our own thing, especially since I won't be there Christmas morning. She told me to text her but I told her I was tired of texting and we could talk. She left w/o talking about it. We'll see tomorrow I guess. I don't know where I'd be without everyone here and learning to dig for patience when I think there is none left.
This next part is weird and I contemplated whether or not to share it and don't know why because I will sound crazy but here it goes. This weekend I had a dream where our friend who was killed appeared to me and said "w's name will come back" then turned to leave. I thought to her don't leave and she then stayed with me but there was nothing, just blackness. We sat beside each other for what seemed like hours but it was just black. I awoke feeling better than I have for a long time, IDK how to describe it. I haven't been able to get it off my mind. I guess time will tell... It's weird, I've had dreams about her before but this was much different.
