I'll read up on your sitch to get more details. My initial thought is that 6 months is a short amount of time. I am at 20 months of piecing and it is just finally getting easier! I am sure we all have a different timeline, but I tend to think time in and of itself is needed. Can you think back to other hardships in your life and try and remember how you felt when it first happened? Then a year later? And then 5? Surely the feelings eased up with each passing year.
My one bit of advice is that the process cannot be rushed. You have to feel safe and comfortable with it and accept that most days it is hard. Even if you are "doing everything," you owe it to yourself to experience the bad feelings. I can recall in the early months, and up until 18 months, getting a trigger and the emotions that came flooding back. There were times I would be driving home from work and just thinking about something could set me off and mentally throw me back in time. Behind the steering wheel, hot tears would flow, I was overwhelmed with rage and sadness, and as soon as I saw H, I might announce "this will never work!" or "I will never see past this!"
The thing is, I really felt that way. I tried to numb the pain and I developed some good and bad habits to cope, but really I had to just feel terrible at times. Somehow I had to keep putting my head over heart and just decide that this IS what I want in my life, even if it doesn't feel right or good at all. Just like DB, it is not intuitive.
I still have triggers, but they don't have much affect on me or my mood. I think it has also helped in my sitch that H has been patient, transparent, and has really made the changes he needed to make. I hate to admit it, but there have been some postive changes that we both have made that we may not have if this didn't happen.
Not sure if this helps at all, but I do believe things always get better in time. As hard as it is now, there can also be many silver linings if you allow yourself to see them. Go easy on yourself. This is really hard stuff!
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
