I've been feeling quite down about things lately, I was doing ok until I met a friend of my stbx who felt sorry for me and couldn't understand why she had left me. It stirred up resentment in me and I have been keeping my distance from her as I no longer know what to say anymore and it brought back memories of our previous separation when she was sleeping around. My stbx sends me messages to see if I am ok, I think she is trying to make conversation as she likes the thought of me being around. I think Christmas and not being involved with the normal family stuff is affecting me too as I am not there. I see the girls but that's about it. The dinners and days out have stopped now and although I cope well, the loneliness is getting to me. I won't be seeing the girls this Christmas as they are going away with their mom and her family so not a great end to an already terrible year.
My stbx has started a new business and is trying to get me to have the kids more but although I love seeing them, I'm not sure I should be so accommodating if she tries to impose them on me as I don't want to be a walk over any longer for my own sanity.
The divorce is still pending due to administrative issues so although we should have been divorced a month ago, I am still stuck in limbo not knowing what to do next. Any ideas how to get through this time?
I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?
