I'm so sorry about your mum.

Do you want to get back with your XH? I would start from there and then continue with piecing very slowly

"There's nothing sadder than a conman conning himself"

“There is freedom waiting for you,
On the breezes of the sky,
And you ask "What if I fall?"
Oh but my darling,
What if you fly?”

-Erin Hanson