I don't split our holidays, and never have. This year, XW had the kids for Thanksgiving, and my family celebrated it without them, but we are going up for several days around Christmas. It's what divorce and affairs create.
Your WAW will just have to understand it's the way it is. Look, I walked around in fear that if I said or did anything, she would "leave me" - but she was having an affair! All it did was make her lose respect for me, and use that leverage to treat me horribly. When I finally did stand up and say "no", she ranted and raved for a few days, but her demeanor began to change each time I stood up for myself in a firm but fair manner.
So, she had Thanksgiving, you get Christmas. You can offer to drop them off first thing day after Christmas if she'd like?
