Coffee and spinning

[AndrewP]

Coly - I know how you feel about weekends. Sundays are usually the worst for me - W and I would usually spend the day together having "adventures" like grocery shopping, breakfast out, visiting over coffee.

I think you would be one of the best here to understand how I'm feeling right now. I thought I was doing great up until I had coffee with W and then visited with S22. Up until then I had actually more or less given up on her returning and was just cruising along through until the new year when I would then perhaps face my choices more directly. Seeing any positive signs such as the news from the kids that they are hearing from her a lot more lately adds on hope. And since people usually find what they are looking for, I see lots of positive indications that W may be waking up. But then I have the calming voice of job to not get my hopes up too high. I've had to stop myself multiple times from contacting her to suggest another visit. Reaching out with an olive branch "feels right" but could go very wrong. I perhaps need to be Noah instead of the dove and wait for the olive branch to be brought to me. That poor man must have suffered waiting though (sorry if the Biblical reference is obscure to some).

I just reached out to SIL2 - who is a personal trainer and can always be counted on to say the right things to me. She also knows W the best of the SIL army and has been one of the people that W has been reconnecting with. I laid out my thoughts to her this morning and she came back with the sweetest comments that stoked up the hope furnaces a bit but more importantly made me feel good about myself. I hope you have someone in your life who can do that for you.

I'm still going to need that elastic quite a bit to get through the rest of December.

I'm so grateful for people like yourself who understand what we're going through. I can understand how and probably why you are feeling tearful. Do you have any Christmas music you can blast and help with the jolly? I had to remove a few from my playlist but it's still pretty long. You can do this GF - to quote a more manly type hero - Red Green (a Canadian thing) - and a line he uses at the end of his segments where he talks about middle-age - "I'm pullin' for ya. We're all in this together". Links are frowned on here but I'm going to cheat - hopefully this survives for a while and gives you a smile seeing the other side of the fence.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q29u0WCiCUQ