Don't know where I belong.....

[twinmom]

Rouky, thanks for checking on me. I'm ok, I'm making plans for myself on Christmas Day. H has insisted on hosting his family (he will never "go" see them it's always them coming to my house). I refuse to be here and be treated horribly so I'm going to find an open restaurant & have dinner/drinks alone while his family is here.
I'm working too much but that's my own fault for taking on more projects then I can handle. I still want to leave so badly but the "comfortableness" of the house/finances/help with kids keeps me here.
Maybe too much info but when H & I are intimate it's never satisfying for me. Thoughts of who he has been with always pop into my head.
I'd love to leave but (selfishly) don't want to give up my lifestyle.