Will your children be crushed not to see their mom on Xmas?

If so, I might offer to have wife and her family (but not OM) over for dessert on Xmas later in the day, like 4:00 or 6:00.

I would not include them earlier in the day.

Me: 44
H: 44
Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10
Together/Married: 22 years
H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16
H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16