Still all normal ways of dealing with what you are going through. I too was guilty of wanting to go all 'Shake-Baby' on my MLCr ..... you will begin to notice in your own sitch and others that mere actions are attempts at trying to get them to wake up, never works ... they have to go through this process and nothing we LBSs can do to speed this up unfortunately.
Eye contact is a big one ... even for me now. I have been as much NC since Feb as one can be with a child and just this weekend when I picked up my son she was looking at the floor like a teen who was in trouble. This is more than 3 years post BD ..... this is on them not us ... but it is strange given 25+ years with this person who always locked on right?
She will distance herself ... emotionally, physically .. all that ... its all part of them cutting ties with the old and chasing the new .. again they must go through with this and figure out things for themselves.
Playful with the kids ... yup, its almost like an act, like they are proving to themselves, the kids and the world they made the right choice and everyone is happier for it .... its all a mask.
You are more drawn to her now because its normal ... she pulled back and the natural reaction is for you to chase, but you are starting to listen to that inner voice of reason that knows you can not chase her into the tunnels .... continue to keep tabs on how you feel and document them in a safe space .. it will help you as you progress through this.
