Moved out, working on GAL

[fightin]

Well, I'll be filing this week. I have mixed feelings of course, but mostly relief. I'm just ready for some closure. It's only been 5 weeks, but my W is insistent that D is inevitable, and since I need to make sure I'm protected financially I might as well get it over with. She agreed to pay 1/2 so I'm thankful for that and also thankful that I'll be D before the new year so 2017 can be a clean slate for me.

I've been doing a lot of reading on limerence and I find that this fits my W perfectly. I worry that after I file, and she then gets hit with the custody suit, and then hits financial hardship due to taking so much of the debt and now having to pay child support that her world might spin out in a bad way. As much as I want this all to be over with I don't want her to get hurt. I know that isn't for me to worry about any longer though.

I also have feelings of failure. I hate that I failed at this relationship too. I hate that I just keep failing. I know that I've learned a lot about myself and what I want and need in a partner for the future, and I still have a lot more to learn about both, but I still can't help but feel like a failure.