Another WW

[Dawgs]

Do you know if she went out with him? If so, then that's really a no-brainer. To say nothing and ignore is basically giving permission.

If it were me, I'd say something like either this will stop (and you will need full transparency) or I will be filing or whatever. I and this family won't be disrespected like this. And then you have to be prepared to back it up. If her name is on the lease/mortgage/etc, you can't really ask her to leave, but you can say you aren't sleeping in the marital bed anymore. Others may know more, though.

Waiting until the new year for what? That's only a few weeks away. But the foot needs to be put down on the OM.

[LiM]

I would not expose it to her family. I was tempted to do that with my WW but ultimately chose not to and today, I'm glad I didn't.
Exposing it to OM's W is another story. Some members here (TxHubby) did expose the A and it worked in his favor. But other will say that those that do the exposing tend to not do as well. Exposing the A will enrage your W. It may stop the A but she could also choose to leave and be with him. Ultimately, you would want HER to choose to end the A and not force her to end it.
In my case, I kicked my W out of the house and I THOUGHT we were working on our M because I thought the A had stopped. I found out 2 1/2 months later that it was still going on so I filed for D and planned on exposing it at that time but OM confessed to his W. That ended the A and got my W to start coming out of the fog.
In my case, no one, including my W, can fault me for my behavior during our separation and her A. I was a saint. I was DB'ing and making myself a better man. I am proud of the way a behaved during that time. My W cannot say the same of her behavior.

[Dawgs]

would not expose it to her family. I was tempted to do that with my WW but ultimately chose not to and today, I'm glad I didn't.
Exposing it to OM's W is another story. Some members here (TxHubby) did expose the A and it worked in his favor. But other will say that those that do the exposing tend to not do as well. Exposing the A will enrage your W. It may stop the A but she could also choose to leave and be with him. Ultimately, you would want HER to choose to end the A and not force her to end it.
In my case, I kicked my W out of the house and I THOUGHT we were working on our M because I thought the A had stopped. I found out 2 1/2 months later that it was still going on so I filed for D and planned on exposing it at that time but OM confessed to his W. That ended the A and got my W to start coming out of the fog.
In my case, no one, including my W, can fault me for my behavior during our separation and her A. I was a saint. I was DB'ing and making myself a better man. I am proud of the way a behaved during that time. My W cannot say the same of her behavior.

That's awesome that it worked out that way for you. The first to expose the affair was the OMs wife when she called me. The second exposure was when I had had enough of her family's BS and told her Dad - while I've not heard anything from them (except him), it stopped.

My wife's and the OM's affair was stopped. They paid a steep price for their actions and the ruining of two families. But then again, my ex never once apologized or showed any remorse - but sociopaths don't typically do that, either.

I, too, was a saint and did nothing wrong and I'm proud of the way I handled it. I could have sent the pics/emails/texts/etc to everyone, including her command. And that would have ruined her in more ways than one. But, I didn't.

[Last79]

Thanks for the advice. I don't know for sure she was with him, but she didn't pay for anything and she came home about 2 hours after the restaurant closed so most likely she did.

I have been trying to ignore things like the book says, don't ask questions where she is who she is with, but from what you guys are saying is that I shouldn't stand for this. I thought I could just let it die, but it doesn't look like it's going to so I need to try something different.

I was going to wait to the end of the year to get through the holidays with the kids and also I have legal coverage through work come Jan 1 so that will save me a lot of money.

I think I am going to talk to his wife. We are somewhat friends anyway so it should not be so awkward as a telling a stranger. I think deep down she knows something is going on anyway because my wife and her were friends and now don't even talk.

[Dawgs]

I think I am going to talk to his wife. We are somewhat friends anyway so it should not be so awkward as a telling a stranger. I think deep down she knows something is going on anyway because my wife and her were friends and now don't even talk.

In my case, the OMs wife thought about that for a while before telling me. She sat on it for a week or two and finally did. I'm glad she did, too. If you do, bring proof. You will need it.

[Last79]

Haven't gotten a chance to talk to the guys wife yet, but I did GAL this weekend and went out with some friends and left the WW at home to watch the kids. Got home late and didn't even get any questions this morning. I don't think she really cares what I do at this point, but at least I am having fun and getting on with my life again and not worrying about where our marriage is heading. You can only control yourself and focusing on me now.

[mvgfwd2]

Try getting a house alarm system. Set it every time she goes out. If she is a stay at home mom then start cutting off some of the things she takes for granted. No more cell phone. If she wants to continue the A it will be on her dime to pay for the means to do it. Same with other things. No family money will be spent facilitating the A. Move your paycheck to a separate account so you have control of the family money. Cancel combined credit card accounts. Let her get her own and pay for it. Again, family money will not be used in any manner to facilitate the A.

When exposing the A to other people first think about how things will be like if you and WW work things out. If it would be weird or cause problems then don't expose it to people you will have to be around in the future. OM's W is a different story.

[sandi2]

She is a stay at home mom and has a lot of time on her hands. Like people say, it's and addiction and she is addicted and can't control it.

How do you mean she can't control it?

[Last79]

Just going on what I read on how it's an addiction and they seem not to be able to control it because the affair is like a drug.

[Dawgs]

Just going on what I read on how it's an addiction and they seem not to be able to control it because the affair is like a drug.

That's what they say and from my ex's actions, I believe it. I remember the day when the OM's wife called me and spilled the beans and sent all the pictures and all. I confronted the ex and she just sat on the be for a solid hour just staring at the wall.