WW asks for divorce, what now?

[Jrnymn]

Married for 13 years, and on Friday the 13th, 2014 I learned that she had started to PA with the trainer she had met a month before at the gym we picked to work out together. Those 6 months were traumatizing.

I confronted her and she said they had just kissed. I told her if she didn't get her s@#$ together that her next step will be walking off a bridge. She ran to it and jumped and jumped and jumped. Right before our 13 year anniversary too. Long story short for now, how often and how she did it was horrible. I was in denial, shock, etc to do anything. Big wussy.

I am a Christian man and honor and trust come before wants, pain, etc. It was enormously hard but I let her stay when she "broke" it off. Well that was two years ago and it seems like I was the only one wanting to try. I kept observing that she was acting out of obligation, duty, etc but the spark was not there and I still didn't trust her. She does want to try and connect spiritual, mentally, socially, emotionally and physically I stopped since it just seemed like she was just there but not present. She didn't miss that either.

Then I found her watching movies the had relationships like theirs or an actor that looked like him, and pining for him. I was right. She then started to leave when she dropped off the kids at school and be out all day with her single friends, etc. Going to the gym where he works, etc. I finally confronted her again and said??? Lots of victim crap and I just don't have the sark, no flame, just don't want to try anymore, he is so nice, blah blah blah. Now she doesn't act at all like a mother and the children notice big and they say if she left they would miss her but it wouldn't be noticed. That is harsh and they haven't been told what went on.

I love her but what man wants a woman that is working hard to do the opposite of healing and building. Even with her kids? I have lost the try. I don't want her here. She asks fr a divorce but is using the money, my stability, etc. to build an exit. I don't want to loose the kids to just sit around and do nothing and watch her make all the choices for all of us.

I admit that the first experience killed all of my self esteem and confidence as a man, of which I was not in need of at all before, or at least had enough I thought. The last year I have been educating myself, exercising, working on me, but I feel its time to poop or get off the pot.

I don't want to make any stupid mistakes but I also don't want to be taken advantage of and watch my 5 kids get hurt, 3 from her.

My friend has been in here for months and has said it has saved his life when his wife just up and wanted out and left. We have helped each other but he says that I need to come here since our situations are different.

Please suggest. Thanks.