W had A and broke it off soon as I confronted her

[Steady9]

I have thought about these comments and appreciate the help. i have also read and talked with a good friend about it...

My W it appears mostly thought she would get away with it... I would never find out...--she is a stay at home mom, has all the monetary things she needs, I bought her a Benz a last year for example... our two kids are healthy...but I needed her less I guess may be the main reason. Over the past year, she may have felt like I did not need her advice or support like I did years ago. I have two kids from a previous marriage and there was some help and support she provided me for that.

I work out and focus on work and in do other things already...and I feel as though that is balanced with my MR. I have talked with my W about all these things... the best she has come up with is, she was bored, thought it would never come out (since it was far away) she never thought the two lives would mix... She was not trying to replace me...

She is open to counseling... so that appears to be required to get to the details of what happened. She did not even think what she did would or could cause a divorce... A couple of months ago, I did the let you go speech and then later I have shared that couples divorce over this... it was as if she never even considered that...

It does appear she was in a fog during that discussion... she is more aware now. But now she cannot seem to think about how this happen....just bored and thought I would never find out...

She is being very nice to me over the past 7 weeks... sex all the time, waits on me etc....

We are financially comfortable... and I am calm etc... I was wondering if she was interested in the drama brought in by the OM... he evidently has a temper... and is not educated.. and a little crazy... the boyfriends she had before me I think fit into this category... I thought one of the reasons she started dating me because I was older than her, calm, mature, educated with a good job.

But all this would be my speculation... So I suppose our M would still be vulnerable to this.... if she learned that the grass is not greener... then perhaps we are good... but if she desires crazy in her life again... well.

I have read through the book and this forum... and my situation is not easy to diagnose... or maybe it is not bad enough to fit in... She had an A with a guy that would not be around.... she rarely goes back to her hometown... was ending it evidently... cut off communication gave me access....and is working hard to reconcile with me...

But I still need help with my fantasy life that went away.... even though I am 52, I feel like a kid, I believed she was my whole life and would always be there.... and then she threw it away over nothing.... So I have bitterness, lack of forgiveness, blame, etc... all things that a mature man could solve.... I am doing the work but sometimes I wonder if I will "be in love" with her like I used to be...

2x4's welcome