My L has not responded to the last email from stbx. We'll just let it lie for now.
Went out to dinner last night and had to drive by my old house (it's up on a hill so I often see it)... Noticed stbx put out some holiday lights. I'm just going to be honest and share with you all that it irks me to no end! Before he met he, we was anti- holiday (probably because he's always been a bit of an eeyore) but I always Loved getting festive. This is our second holiday season apart and I still don't have it in me to get in the holiday spirit so it makes me frustrated/jealous (?) that he's getting into the holiday spirit this year. It's pointless for me to have an opinion on it, but I'm just trying to be real. On my way back from the dinner, I took a different route home.
Since I finished the 30 day bootcamp, I've been mulling over my next physical activity goal. I've been going back and forth between a few things and I just decided on doing the gym's 60 day challenge that starts mid- January. This is going to be incredibly more intense than the 30 day but my goal is to maaaaayyybbbeeee get fit enough to do a bikini/fitness competition in early spring. Ahhhhh! It's not something I've ever wanted to do mostly because I didn't think I had it in me, But now I know anything is possible and I want to try! It's going to be hard and will require discipline and I think I'm game!
Just wish I could fast forward through the d... It's so ugly and we have so much more to get through. I'll keep breathing. I'm so ready to put this behind me. I'm just done.
I still read about relationships and MLC every single night and every morning, and I'm starting to think its not serving me any more. I think by reading on MLC, it keeps me connected and makes me a little too lenient towards stbx and his behavior. I'm so done with him and his antics... Mostly because everything I've experienced is not new behavior for him. He's done it to everyone else he's had issues with. Time to drop him like a bad habit. I still want to learn and do the work, but i have to shift the focus of my reading into things that serve me.
Ok.... That's it for now. Wishing everyone a lovely weekend.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
