Is this an accusation anyone has heard of? His motive is definitely to have mr and his mom stop talking! I just didn't ever think he could swoop so low as to lie this big!! And I really do not know how a woman does that, especially to a man who is taller and stronger than said woman
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Tall tales of children are not meant to be beleived...attempt to avoid placing any thought in it. Absurd is simply absurd...
This is the lesson that I hold in my mind when confronted with such absurd behavior form the immature behavior of another...
One day Buddha was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him. “You have no right teaching others,” he shouted. “You are as stupid as everyone else. You are nothing but a fake.”
Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man “Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?”
The man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, “It would belong to me, because I bought the gift.”
The Buddha smiled and said, “That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger.
If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you.
Breathe my dear Cherry...
This insanity too, shall pass...and it shall pass in swiftness as you pay it no mind.
(((((Cherry)))))
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Yes, V that's what I thought. If something like this was said to the wrong person, this is severely serious business, that could see me getting arrested! He told his mom not to say anything, but she sees me as her child and had to, she did not for a split second believe him, and now I understand why she is even frostier towards him than I have ever been. The thing is, I had someone attempt to rape me, but I managed to get away. Few people know, because I thought people would think I bought it on myself, and I felt dirty and ashamed. He knows, my mil knows. I think that is why this stings so much. It's also such a hurtful thing to ever say about someone, and also criminal. There is no way I ever did this, and I fear what next lie he is going to say about me!
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
This is TOTALLY cheater's manual - XW came up with marital rape. Now that's a real thing if you drugged, tied up, or otherwise physically held them against their will.
But guess what - her definition was if she wasn't necessarily "in the mood", but had sex anyway, then she was being raped. smh. They say and do ANYTHING to make you look bad; just desperate to ease their conscience.
Bippy, funny you say that. When she questioned him he said he didn't want to talk, then eventually he said it was at night, he said no and I carried on. This NEVER happened. If anything, he was always jumping on me. Do I accuse him of such vile things, no. If I didn't want it, I'd tell him.
This fog gets deeper and he becomes more of a person I really don't want to associate with as time goes on. This has truly cut me, and I think once the shock/sadness/anger lifts, I'll just be left with anger, and I think I will become extremely cold and closed off towards him!
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
(((Cherry))) My intital thought when reading this, is honestly who cares what his reason is for saying it--MLC, depression, fog, guilt, deep seeded anger, etc--but more so that he said it. This behavior is egregious, and no matter what the reason/excuse is, he is responsible for his words and actions.
It has been a couple years of this now and I can't help but wonder what your bottom line is? I know you want your M and family intact. I know it is sooo hard to let go of that. And I'm sorry. It's so hard.
I also wonder at what point enough is enough? You deserve a man that loves you, respects you, and values you for the beautiful person that you are. Your children also deserve to see their mum cherished that way.
I am glad you are angry. Hold on tight to whatever projects you and your heart. Anger is okay and should not be overlooked or pushed aside. You do not need to act on it, but you must allow for it.
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
To be honest Blu, I've had very little dealings with him recently, and despite feeling the odd bit of sadness, I've generally been doing good. I've been super busy with work, GAL with my best girlfriend, GAL with S, mil, family. Home renovations, baby shopping, baby preparing. And I had gotten to a stage where I wasn't even sure if I wanted to be in S m, I just knew that I was not going to be the one to file, push that he files, or pay the financial costs of filing. Partly because I am in no rush, I don't want another relationship for a good while until I've found my feet. And right now, my mind is fully on making sure me and my S are okay, and that I'm ready and prepared for the new baby. I've recently had freak outs at being a single mom and having a newborn, to which I've voiced to the antenatal team taking care of me, they're also aware of my situation and I'm seeking ic to better improve myself.
I agree with you on that, my mil has known what he's said for about a month, she was in two minds wether to tell me, as she didn't believe it for one, but she also knew it would hurt me and anger me- which I really don't need while pregnant. She has spoken with her ic about this and decided to tell me. Though her ic told her to remember that he isn't well and that this is fairly typical off a severely depressed individual. But that I really agree with you, sure something's I can say "well he isn't right in the head", but this is deep. And the fact he said it, I don't think I could find any reason to justify. At all.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Cherry, I hope the point that you can take away is...
It simply does not matter why he is doing it... There is no answer that can make you feel better nor alleviate the pain of it... Dwelling on it only creates pain for you. Slap a reason, any reason on it and step forward.
The statements he makes are absurd and if one can step back and look at the facts... The comments can not be true... Any rational person can see this... No court nor law enforcement agency would give credence to the comments with out some physical proof... Nothing can happen to you, except potentially some questions if a law enforcement agency had it reported to them... I have some law enforcement background and trust me...absurd accusations happen, but there are many smart folks that will toss it out...assuming he even had the ba!!s to actually do something she ridiculous..
Spinning about the comments hurts only you and your child... You can control the spinning. Breathe...
You can not control him, nor his mother telling you nor an IC that felt it was important enough to tell you...
Yes, anger has it's place...but being angry about the absurdity of this does not benefit you.
Stay the course with,
Originally Posted By: Cherry
I've had very little dealings with him recently, and despite feeling the odd bit of sadness, I've generally been doing good. I've been super busy with work, GAL with my best girlfriend, GAL with S, mil, family. Home renovations, baby shopping, baby preparing. And I had gotten to a stage where I wasn't even sure if I wanted to be in S m, I just knew that I was not going to be the one to file, push that he files, or pay the financial costs of filing. Partly because I am in no rush, I don't want another relationship for a good while until I've found my feet. And right now, my mind is fully on making sure me and my S are okay, and that I'm ready and prepared for the new baby. I've recently had freak outs at being a single mom and having a newborn, to which I've voiced to the antenatal team taking care of me, they're also aware of my situation and I'm seeking ic to better improve myself.
As V mentions, document it, Then I say, slide it to the side and proceed with your building and strengthening of you. The journey is a challenging one and you have some very good momentum... Steer clear of the drama... Stay the course... You are headed in the right direction.
(((((Cherry)))))
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
