For what it's worth, my XW told me I was the being "best husband ever" after we separated. I was the DBing king for awhile; and it still didn't save my marriage.
But several years later, she said she had been completely lost, had no idea who she was. She apologized to me and said she didn't love me like she should've, and didn't allow me to love her or let me in.
The journey really is theirs. And no matter how perfectly you DB or love them, you just can't fix someone who's broken. Accepting that is life-changing...
