Coly23 - Can you pass the jam biscuits please? I adore those things. It was annoying to me when Marks and Sparks closed up in Canada.
job often writes using different words that this is a special time of the year. Missing spouses pop up out of their tunnels and may scamper around in the snow. It's the sustained interaction that happens after the tree is put away and calm of the new year is underway that matters.
Looking at this from a male perspective there are two different ways of looking at it and I'm not sure which one is the right one. Perhaps you might have a thought on it.
Many men - including myself - see ourselves as "rescuers". A damsel in distress triggers all sorts of protective instincts and we will rush in on our noble steed (mine is called Rocinante - you can look it up if you like). Once the rescuing is done and the damsel is appropriately grateful (something my W was never good at) we get a bit lost.
On the other hand he is showing a genuine interest in you, D15 and enjoys spending time with you. He is probably missing you and family time during this special time of the year and is making an effort it seems to be there for you. This is a good chance for you to make him feel special and loved and I think it can be done without pushing into his bubble too much. It is very true that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. We love to feel cared for and cared about - perhaps why so many men are attracted to waitresses - I don't know. The next time he comes over, don't make a fuss about it, but if there is some sort of fresh baking be it scones or biscuits that he is fond of, have some there. Don't make a scene about it or push them on him - just an "Oh - did you want to try some [insert favourite treat here] that I just made for D15 and I". More than any love notes, that will warm his heart and make him remember the contact fondly. Think again of the squirrel metaphor that I wear out with over-use. Squirrels are attracted to bird feeders and over time will get quite brazen but at first they are timid.
Finally when I read your posts most of the contact and interaction seems to revolve around you two with not a lot of focus on him. If you get the chance, listen to him. Take an interest in how he's doing and remember the details (one of the things I loved about my own W). We've not heard here on how he's doing on his own journey - have you been giving him a chance to express himself and talk about how he's doing? It can be done without pushing or pressing.
That's all for now - sending you ((((Coly23)))) and thanks for the tea.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
