Help - boundaries. Am I doing th ewrong thing?

[Woke_Up]

It appears I have no way of enforcing my boundary - which is that she does not communicate with the EAP while in the house, especially while I or the kids are there.

You can't stop her from communicating with him, all you can do is tell her that it is inappropriate and you will not be in a relationship with her when she is in a relationship with someone else.
So what does that mean?
You get to decide.

She is involved in affair fog and there is no way that she just snaps out of it.

You need to protect yourself and your child.
You need to be the best DAD that you can possibly be.

Sometimes the best thing to do when you have no clue what to do is NOTHING.
Sit back and close your mouth, open your eyes and ears and watch what is happening.
The answers will start to come to you as you learn.

Knowledge is indeed power.

Cadet, thank you. That last paragraph is the simple wisdom I need.

I may as well stop trying to do anything about the internet. Making her find another way or pay for another internet connection isn't really a consequence in our situation. I just didn't want to feel like an enabler, but I guess in a world we have assumed everything is joint, it's less relevant, and gives her ammunition in the 'treating me like a child' argument.

I need to think about what not being in R means to me and how to approach it with WW.

At the minute she is trying to treat me as usual. Nice when it suits her, not so nice when it doesn't - like today, I have been trying to distance/detach - so when she sent me a 'nice' text as if nothing had happened last night, I responded briefly without the reciprocal kisses at the end. She assumed I was still in a mood and then started getting a bit shirty with me at home. She still gets me to react a bit, not too badly this time.

Damn, it's tough. I thought the shock and stress of the last few months was bad, but I feel that learning to focus on being a better person and best dad I can be while keeping detached from WW is going to be even more difficult... minus the sleepless nights and not eating though! I'm past that stage. 👍