Focus on Me and the Boys 10

[J5K]

The second half of the week has been a rollercoaster, now I think I am the one creating it.

US L and Ontario L and I had a conference call this past Wednesday. The two Ls spoke Tuesday afternoon. Ontario L said that their is risk even if XW signs off on the move that XW could file a motion in Ontario since she is not working yet and we could possibly continue the custody battle in Ontario and put the boys through more turmoil. This could happen the first day I move there.

Ontario L said the longer I stay in Michigan the less chance that XW could take more than 50% based on her behavior over the past year.

I am glad I did my due diligence. Based off of this I cannot risk moving. Although there is a twist to this after the boys go see the child psychologist.

I send XW an email after the conversation stating that I set up therapy for S6 Thursday and S7 Friday.

Her response back was "thank you and you could have given me more notice so I can speak with the therapist before the boys go". I did not respond.

Thursday S4 turned 5. We had pizza and cake. XW and I set a time of 6:30pm for a call with the boys. When boys were done eating it was 6:12. I text XW asking if she wanted to video chat and sing happy birthday with us as we were getting ready to blow out the candles and sing happy birthday. She responds back with "can't talk right now". I did not mention any of this to the boys. We sing happy birthday and I serve some cake and ice cream to the boys. 6:25 she texts back she is free and so I call her and she talks to the boys for a few minutes starting with S5.

I sent XW a picture of the cake as the boys were eating pizza and she send a response back saying the cake was cute. Then she send another text saying looks big. I sent a response of it was the smallest I could find with S5's favorite colors. I left it at that.

If it were me on the other end I would have wanted to video chat and see the smile on my S5's face as he blew out the candles. That is me though.

The sessions for the boys went well. Psychologist stated the S6 and S7 are sweet and articulate. Psychologist was very happy with how the first sessions went.

Friday afternoon XW, psychologist and I had a conference call, I had to go back to the psychologist for the second time that day. We received some feedback about the boys. We gave the psychologist background of the boys history.

At the beginning of our session with the psychologist, she asked one questions that we agreed we would answer last. Psychologist asked if there is any way we could co-parent in the same city. At the end of the session I started and stated yes, and that I offered 50/50 custody to XW and that I had a transfer in place that I have not cancelled but XW will not agree. Psychologist was glad to hear that. She then asked XW if there was any way that she could move back to Michigan and XW brought up the excuse of no support, family is in Toronto.

XW then started to get on her soapbox and went back to her position of the boys are young and need to be with their mom and 50/50 would not work because there is traffic and there is no good way to schedule co-parenting in the same city...blah blah blah.

I get on my soapbox about the D and that best interest of the boys is to have two parents under the same roof.

The poor psychologist is trying to mediate all this so it does not escalate into pure chaos. She stated this is typical and understands that XW and I are both angry and mad. Psychologist is trying to look out for the best interest of the boys and says the boys would thrive more if we lived in the same city.

XW states 50/50 will not work, custody either needs to stay the same or get flipped so she has them most of the time.

The custody conversation goes 30 minutes over the session time and we end the call with XW.

I offer up a conference call to the psychologist with both my Ls so she can understand the risk. We will discuss on Monday.

I could see the facial expressions of the psychologist as XW was explaining her position as a SAHM and XW's reaction to not accepting 50/50. Psychologist seemed very surprised.

XW calls me later in the evening and states that custody needs to be 2/3rds 1/3rd either way and 50/50 will not work (because this will put a lot more financial burden on XW). I said I understand but I do not trust that if we kept custody the same that it would not change once I moved up there. XW starts to spew the same about the boys behavior degrading and lack of performance in school. Then she starts to berate me again and I start to push back. I could not talk to her anymore and just hung up.

It may be perceived that I am being stubborn about the move and trying to force it, I am glad I am doing my due diligence. I need to finalize my choice early next week so I can get some normal back in the boys lives.

Georgia Bulldogs, I appreciate the feedback again. I will respond later. I have posted enough for one morning. Time to make breakfast for the boys! Hope everyone has a great Saturday.