Hi Coly, your post presents a picture of you perhaps pursuing and pushing a tad too much. You spin when you are not in touch and so you prompt contact in order to reassure yourself. However, relying on a MLCer for reassurance isn't a great plan (understatement!!)
I think it is a good idea to apply two principles to your interactions with him. Firstly, let him lead a little. And if the 'leading' is 'distance' let that happen. Secondly, reciprocate (rather than initiate) and do so with around 75% of his enthusiasm.
It's really important to allow MLCers some time and space to process things. If you are regularly in his space, he may not get the chance to do that.
How can you work on feeling more stable and comfortable, even if he isn't in touch for a little while??
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
