Slowly losing my wife

[ForGump]

Lex, your troubled family life is another reason why I think you'd benefit from getting individual counseling, to see what good and bad baggage you are bringing to your marriage, and how you can be a healthier individual.

Re: your current "game plan" for talking to your wife ... as Sandi2 said I'd keep thinking about it before going forward, but one thing I advise you to think about is how, in your game plan, you want to avoid treating your W like a child, and more like a spouse. I'm concerned that if you frame things in terms of, "if you don't do X, I'm going to take away Y," that perpetuates the parent-child dynamic in your marriage. You are to be two equal partners pulling the same weight, helping each other. I'm not sure how this applies to finances, if you're the one getting a paycheck and your W earns nothing. But there's got to be a way to address this without sounding like a parent taking away an allowance from a child.

Re: your W's affection today -- it must feel good. I'd give a million bucks for something like that from my W. In any case, you can't mind read, and she's likely going to flip-flop, so be steady, super steady. Warm & friendly but detached. Steel yourself for her being mean tomorrow, or realizing that she's still infatuated with the celebrity.