What about your parents and your childhood? Do you have a good relationship with them?
What do you like to do for fun? What gives you inspiration?
I think we can learn from each other here on the board. So, stick with it.
My mother was pretty much always dissatisfied with life in general. she provided all the physical things that I needed but emotionally she taught me nothing. I nearly had to grow up emotionally from scratch when I left the house. she eventually divorced my dad and ran off with a man 20 years younger. amazingly, they are still together and her attitude has improved. we are on speaking terms and she seems to love her grandkids.
My dad definitely suffers from nice guy syndrome and does till this very day. He never stood up to my mom when she was hard on my brother and I and he did everything wrong when my mom was leaving him. He remarried and divorced the same woman two times after my mom. I talk to him occasionally on the phone but that is it. I'm pretty sure I inherited my "goblin king" tendencies from him. I am actively working on improving this part of myself.
I enjoy judo and while I am not a tournament winner, I am decent at it and can win matches sometimes. It keeps me in good shape and it keeps my spirit up. Judo workouts are intense and that has really provided me the only relief from my sadness. My older son enjoys working out with me and the younger one is expressing interest in getting on the mat when he is old enough.
