Thanks once again sandi! Everything you wrote looks spot on to me. We haven't and I won't go to mc until things change. I know what legal s entails and we have discussed it. She has let me look at her phone since saying that she won't allow any more audits but I don't totally trust her. The big question: do tthe standard db tactics have a chance if I gut things out?
As I previously stated, I am not going to tell you to separate to get out of limbo. Do the standard DB tactics have a chance if you gut things out? I think you need to stick to them, at least until you know if she is still engaging contact with the OM. And even if it came to physically separating, you could still apply the DB principles, tactics, etc. I was trying to answer some of your questions, and maybe you thought I was encouraging separation. This is your life to live, and you know when you've had enough and won't take bad treatment any longer. Even dropping the rope is DBing. So, yes, I recommend you follow DB.
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I pay for the phone and see that I might as well s if I'm going to take it away.
Not sure what you mean. Nothing was said about you taking her phone away, that I remember. I just asked if you paid for it. Is she so addicted to it, she would leave you b/c you took her phone?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!