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Rose888 #2717038 11/21/16 06:42 AM
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RBG80 Offline OP
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Hi Rose, It was more a passing comment - she seemed really unhappy with how things were panning out (not saying that she wants me back), but maybe this isn't what she imagined.

I know that I can only work on myself and my own life and felt that I was able to demonstrate this. I have no idea what if any impact this may have, but felt proud that I was able to show that I'm not a broken man (even though I feel like this sometimes).


M - 36 / W - 32
S - 3
Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs
Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016
Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
MoveFrwd #2717109 11/21/16 11:25 AM
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Hey darkness. It wasn't so much her mood that was shaping my perception of being on the right track bc her moods are so volatile I've given up 2nd guessing them. It was more the actions I'd taken.

The only reason I spoke to her about her b'day was to try and ascertain if she was going to ask me to switch weekends.

Her sadness was more an observation really and I wondered if that for someone who wanted something different from life, if it was 'normal' for a WW to be living such an unhappy life - it just seems strange that I'm the one (hopefully) making progress and she appears to be miserable and stuck....


M - 36 / W - 32
S - 3
Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs
Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016
Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
RBG80 #2717252 11/22/16 05:22 AM
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OK, so have received the below email from the W:
"Have you thought about what you are doing Christmas do you want joseph? Mom has asked me to ask you if you want to come for dinner you are still welcome and I have no problem if you wanted to come. If not and you want joseph for the day then let me know."

HELP!!! what do I do here?...


M - 36 / W - 32
S - 3
Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs
Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016
Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
RBG80 #2717261 11/22/16 06:24 AM
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Originally Posted By: RBG80
OK, so have received the below email from the W:
"Have you thought about what you are doing Christmas do you want joseph? Mom has asked me to ask you if you want to come for dinner you are still welcome and I have no problem if you wanted to come. If not and you want joseph for the day then let me know."

HELP!!! what do I do here?...


If it were me, I would try to take my son to my family's or friend's or something. I dont think I would want to go to STBX's to 'play family' just because it's Christmas.

MoveFrwd #2717271 11/22/16 07:04 AM
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RBG80 Offline OP
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Yeah I'm inclined to say no - think it will be too difficult.

Ive since had a text from her with kisses on the end - followed by a quick apology as she was walking, followed by a further text that says...
"the kissess and the invitation don't mean that I've changed my mind, just mom asked about Christmas and i was distracted when texting"

Nothing like bluntness!


M - 36 / W - 32
S - 3
Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs
Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016
Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
RBG80 #2717672 11/25/16 06:05 AM
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Guys, Happy Thanks Giving to most of you all the way from me in the UK.

Question for you, how do you all cope with Christmas and loss of a family? Do any of you do the 'family thing' or is it just a straight up separate day?

My W (from MIN) had asked me to theirs for lunch but I have gratefully declined - thought it would be too hard for me. However the W thinks its best for her to come round in the morning and watch our S open the presents and then go....

My thought was for her to have him Christmas day with her presents and then me to have him the day after and I'll do it all over again with my presents.

I'm mindful that we do what is best for my S (not whats best for me & the W) and would be grateful if you could share your experiences...

As always, thanks guys.


M - 36 / W - 32
S - 3
Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs
Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016
Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
RBG80 #2719677 12/07/16 09:51 AM
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Hey guys,

Spoke with the W earlier, she made a point of telling me that she had joined the gym.

Why does this bother me?...


M - 36 / W - 32
S - 3
Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs
Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016
Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
RBG80 #2719679 12/07/16 10:12 AM
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If your mind is like mine (and I hope it isn't), the news about the gym will quickly cause you to think about her motivation for getting in shape and making her body look better. From there, the imagination just goes everywhere, none of it good . . .

It [censored]. All you can do is try to acknowledge the thoughts, not try to fight or control the feelings, and find healthy distractions.


Me: 46
W: 44
Married: 17
Together 21
D13; S10
BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you)
Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage
Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
JRuss #2719738 12/07/16 02:25 PM
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I'm not sure it is that JRuss (might be), but feels like something different. It's really knocked me.

I'm having a low day anyway where I feel empty and sad, maybe on a stronger day I'd have felt differently and it wouldn't have bothered me.


M - 36 / W - 32
S - 3
Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs
Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016
Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
RBG80 #2720013 12/09/16 05:45 AM
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Had a dream last night about 'love'...

It was the first one that didn't involve my W. I had a dream that I'd met someone new.

Threw me a little.


M - 36 / W - 32
S - 3
Together - 18 Yrs / Married - 10 Yrs
Bomb Dropped - 4th Sept 2016
Moved out - 4th Sept 2016
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