good morning buddy, wishing you a great weekend! sorry I have not been here lately. I am just not able to post, for a bunch of reasons.
was just going to say hi, then this hit me for some reason...
Originally Posted By: roist
Maybe I am having my own mlc. Great that the two of us can get that over with simultaneously!! Maybe I am slipping back to depression. Idk. I don't feel depressed as I am focusing on a better future. When depressed I saw no future. At all!
we all go through these life changes. some can cope, others really can't.
there may be some truth that you have been going through something for sometime... with the depresssion and all that you have had go on within. it is how you chose to react, to cope, to manage, to evolve that tells the tale. you have not chosen to destroy your family or blame them for your unhappiness!
that is great. instead yoh look within to find what you can do to build a better you. if all men did this, the world would be a better place and these forums would be lonelier
the rejection thing...it is a doozey. one that I have not completely figured out how to get past. it is almost hard-wired within you, that your wife was your emotional anchor and now she isn't. look back hard, has she been treating you this way for so long....just subtract the physical or has there been a fundamwntal change in her interaction and treatment of you in the last coupke of years.
honestly when I looked back I noticed that the physical was the biggest change....that her selfishness, closed offness, etc. was always there...it was just something that didn't bother me or wasn't a deal breaker....likely because the physical side always took front stage and was there for me. I guess it suited me just fine.
or was it always...I wasn't there emotionally for her, i was always closed off and she tried to close the gap with what I needed, what she thought I wanted or needed and now she wants to be sure that it isn't just the physical side that we have....thst there IS more to our relationship than just sex. is that all I ever wanted from her...some women after 20 years truely believe that to be the case with thier husbands. are our wives trying to seek the answer to whether there can be a real connection, or what thier value is (besides sex) and they have to learn to find that.
what am i saying...maybe this is a good thing...maybe this gives us a chance to learn to love each other from scratch based on who we are...or allows us to see the real 'each other' More clearly. think it also allows them the space for the to grow. AND it certainly gives YOU the time and space for you to figure out how to meet your own needs, to figure out how to keep moving forward rather than waiting to 'get through this'. im spit balling here.
doesn't make things any easier. I love the physical touch and sex just as much as any man. your pain is deep and the rejection doesn't ever cease to stab, i am sorry that you have had this cross your path.
key is to keep the focus on you and your needs. trying to reel her back in is just only going to make her fight harder against you. you two both need some healing so make sure you are doing more than just surviving.
and these forums would be lonelier 