Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 7

[PsySara]

I'll address some things before journaling,

I have qualified for a home loan on my own credit score and income. If a house is bought then it will be in my name only and will be only if I can afford the mortgage by myself. I could get a much more expensive house if WH's income were added but I am not going there. I am planning my future and big purchases as if I were already single.

Today's events:
I had my procedure, it was uncomfortable and emotionally draining but it's over, the results will be in around 10-14 days. I went to my IC today and she feels WH has narcissistic personality disorder. She has assessed him alone as well as when he came to MC the other day. As a clinician I know what a dire diagnosis this is and asked her frankly if there was any hope, she said she dug very deep on WH but could find nothing. He has absolutely no empathy towards others and frames every experience from his own POV without being able to "put himself in other's shoes." This means his ability to work on himself and fix what's wrong is...never going to happen.

WH was sending texts all day long asking how I was doing, if I needed to talk, etc., He came home and I asked him to take over the kids for the evening. Again he asked if I needed to talk and I just dodged the question. I don't feel he is asking because he truly wants to support or comfort me, he just wants to assuage his own guilt and then sleep like a baby. Right now he has taken the kids out for dinner and I am just relaxing on the couch. I am physically and emotionally wrung out today. Tomorrow I will rise again but for now I am not going to do anything beyond breathe in and breathe out.