Boundaries: Cheat Sheet

[Woke_Up]

I am also having difficulty with boundaries. My WW (well, partner, as we never actually tied the knot) is engaged in an emotional affair with a man in another country and has been unable to stop. She has tried a few times, but now it seems like she doesn't even want to.
They mainly communicate through skype.
I have taken to blocking it on occasion when it is driving me mad, but this usually ends up in an argument - that I am infantilising her, that she is a grown woman and can do what she wants and is entitled to her privacy, etc.
I recently asked her if she would stop communicating with him from in the house as I found it disrespectful to me, the family (we have 2 children), and to our home.
She was unwilling to do this and we had another brief argument.

Is this a boundary or is this control that I am applying?

I've been going through a lot of turmoil since I found out about this in the Summer, and I will probably start a new thread to describe my situation and ask for advice.

I want to save our relationship, but I am not sure how long I can go on like this, as it feels like she is torn and always has me as a backstop if she goes off the EAP. I know it's not as bad as a physical affair but the stress has been awful.

Thanks

D