MLH-- I was able to snoop and then have my data in place, all of the data I needed to let her know that I knew...

Then I calmly let her go.... And I guess she could have said, ok, I am moving out. I was prepared for that. I think it is key for the W to know that you are prepared--or detached... that is the only way to get the W to turn around if they are going to turn around... they have to see your car is leaving for good... (obviously you can change your mind later as things change) This is not an ultimatum... just boundaries.... -I only want to be with you if these things happen or these things do not happen... people are free to make their own choices and then you decide.

Not sure if you need to snoop anymore... You have the data you need. Right?

H (me) 52, W 42
M 15
D14, S12
PA June and Sept 2016
Found out Sept, confronted Oct
NC with OM since Oct, remorseful
Dating since Nov