Youre not really doing this right. Why do you think YOU can control HER? She doesnt want to work on the marriage, se doesnt have your best interest at heart. Then why do you think you can "make her do more housework?"
If you want to confront her about the affair, then fine. But you need to be prepared for the fallout. You can evict her from the MBR, but what if she refuses? You can "make" her do more housework, but what if she doesnt?
What are YOUR boundaries?
Also, waiting a month is pretty weak. I wouldnt confront her until youre ready. But waiting until January seems kind of arbitrary.
a wife who doesn't send erotic emails to another man is a boundary of mine.
a wife who is trying to work on our relationships is another.
I'm pretty flexible after that.
Waiting a month is arbitrary but I already promised her December so even if that was a bad idea i'm still going to keep my promise. my hope is that I can be ready by January. I believe that I can be. but i'm not ready now. i'm emotional in ways that I have never been before and my arguments are not formed.
if I tell her my boundaries and then there are no concequences then I may as well not bother. the concequence is what I am trying to figure out.
