Moved out, working on GAL

[fightin]

Hey Hawker,
Thanks for stopping by!

Yes, I have read many articles, message boards, etc about why people have affairs....they are not happy with themselves and they "love" how this new person makes them feel. Its all about getting and not giving. It seems like your W wants to feel that all the time and once the limerance stage is over she needs to go find he next fix....

This seems to describe her pattern to a T.

I agree that love is a choice and its about giving in a healthy way and helping each other grow and be the best person one can be.

I always thought we excelled at this, even my parents, friends, and some of her family said the same, they thought we were great for each other and helped one another grow. I guess if someone is fundamentally unstable in Rs though then even that being a difference in a new R wouldn't be enough to make them see their own issues.

Maybe she will "wake up" when the custody case happens, or maybe not....who know really. Glad you realize you just need to take care of you.

We verbally agreed on what she'd take which is most of the debt (also due to her guilt), but I'm worried the custody case could change that, so yeah, I'm definitely looking out for number 1 here because I can't count on her to stick to her word. Her word kind of is meaningless right now. Part of me wishes the custody case would be a wake up call, but honestly, I don't like this person she is right now and I definitely don't want that person in my life. I seriously doubt it will be a wake up call though. More likely she will blow up at everyone involved and then end up washing her hands of everyone, even her S for a while. I sure hope for his sake she doesn't react that way, but I think it is likely. She is a hot-head and tends to think she's never at fault for anything.

Also, she's most likely going to ask if I knew about it. I won't lie to her, but when she gets mad I didn't tell her about it I will remind her that she asked me for a D so it is no longer my place to be in the middle. Yes, I'm taking care of myself and it actually feels really good!

Thanks!