She's gone. Living in the now 2

[Sotto]

I know what I have to do, GAL, my own path etc but...

A close friend says I'm being too hard on myself but...

I know the future is mine to make but...

Lots of buts here Scrant. You know what you have to do - GAL and follow your own path. You know the future is yours. Full stop.

Please pay no heed to her profile stuff. What's that to you? Things like that just hold you back.

Please know this - from the moment she went, your future became yours to own. Yes, you are doing well and life is moving forward. You are a committed dad to your S and you largely manage to leave your W alone...

BUT - you haven't yet built a life for yourself that doesn't look bleak and lonely...and there's the rub. That one's on you. Yes there may be constraints, however I feel you are too ready with the buts there....Oh I know this but....I know that but.

There is no try, there is only do. You don't much feel like doing some of this stuff and so you haven't yet replaced the aching void that your W left in your life.

In these earlyish days, we have to do the things that we don't really feel like doing - get out there - meet others. Extend invites. Accept invites. Include your S in things. Reach out to others. Work every link. And slowly life rebuilds.

That's the only way I think - otherwise the hole remains. Now sometimes when I suggest this people say - oh I don't want a new girlfriend, or to go clubbing - I don't mean either of those things. But I do mean taking active steps to rebuild your life - make new friends - do stimulating things that bring joy - find a sense of community and so on - all independent of your W.

If you do that successfully, it's a no-lose situation, however things may ultimately unfold with your W.