What I'm going to tell you might not pleased you but i'd like to chip in. Every other year with H we would go back to see my parents as I'm not from the UK. When my mother in law passed away I didn't see my parents for 4 Xmas in a row (even if I don't get on particularly well with my mother, I missed her and I also felt that my kids should see their grandparents).
After that Xmas I didn't go for another 3 years in a row ( the last one was last year because I hoped i'd be back with H), so this year I'm taking the kids away for a week. It might sound harsh but I need to regroup my strength, and I can do it in a safe environment (ie with my family). I'm going for a week but it's really for 5 days as I'm losing two days travelling.
H has said that he would have the kids next year, even though it hurts me it's fair that he has them. Unfortunately now you have to think about having separate arrangements for Xmas and holidays. I'm planning to go away on holidays next year for Xmas.
Maybe your wife needs some time away, a change of scenery to think things through.
