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Dawgs #2719669 12/07/16 09:22 AM
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No I haven't gone out with him, I know my wife has since she was exposed. I have seen the guy 4 times since finding out at kid events, and yes I do want to get physical with him, but have resorted to just trying to stay away from him.


Me:39
WW: 39
Kids: 11,8,4
Married: 15 years
Together 17 years
PA discovered November 2016
Separated living in same house - ended 1/2017
Separated, kids in house, taking turns staying in house
Dawgs #2719673 12/07/16 09:30 AM
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Is there any benefit in speaking to the OM? In my case, I have not done so but have been tempted.


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Gordie #2719681 12/07/16 10:16 AM
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I don't think so, he has a pretty narsisictic personality so it's all about him usually. I have thought of talking to the OM wife as well, but she really had no control over this guy and he has always done what he wants. And the book says do not expose to others.


Me:39
WW: 39
Kids: 11,8,4
Married: 15 years
Together 17 years
PA discovered November 2016
Separated living in same house - ended 1/2017
Separated, kids in house, taking turns staying in house
Last79 #2719697 12/07/16 11:11 AM
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Thanks and good luck. This stuff is awful, but good to know I am not alone. Thanksgiving was tough and Christmas will be too.


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Last79 #2719700 12/07/16 11:18 AM
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Quote:
I don't think so, he has a pretty narsisictic personality so it's all about him usually. I have thought of talking to the OM wife as well, but she really had no control over this guy and he has always done what he wants. And the book says do not expose to others.


I've seen a lot of advice on here about exposing it to others. A LOT. And most says do it based on that the other person most definitely needs to know and it can also bring the whole thing to a screeching halt. Dang sure did the OM's wife called me that time.

Blow that f****ng ship out of the water.


There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Dawgs #2719720 12/07/16 12:33 PM
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I am thinking of exposing her to her family to see if they can get it to stop cause I know she hasn't told them about it, just that we are not getting along.


Me:39
WW: 39
Kids: 11,8,4
Married: 15 years
Together 17 years
PA discovered November 2016
Separated living in same house - ended 1/2017
Separated, kids in house, taking turns staying in house
Gordie #2719721 12/07/16 12:36 PM
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Thanks, it does suck. I just told her that we are going to our separate families on Christmas Eve and Christmas. She still wants them Christmas evening but I am not going to budge on that. It's definitely going to be a hard Christmas..


Me:39
WW: 39
Kids: 11,8,4
Married: 15 years
Together 17 years
PA discovered November 2016
Separated living in same house - ended 1/2017
Separated, kids in house, taking turns staying in house
Last79 #2719730 12/07/16 01:46 PM
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Good for you for not budging!

Christmas can be a really weird time of year. It seems like almost everyone has so many expectations of what Christmas should be and it's just one freakin' day of the year. What's up with that?

I'm a Festivus guy myself.

Last79 #2719804 12/08/16 06:23 AM
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Quote:
I am thinking of exposing her to her family to see if they can get it to stop cause I know she hasn't told them about it, just that we are not getting along.


Good idea.


There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Dawgs #2719874 12/08/16 11:26 AM
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So my WW went out last night and I know she didn't go out to dinner with her friends because there were no debit or credit charges and I know she didn't have cash. Do I continue to ignore her or ask for a separation and ask her to move out. I thought I could handle this in the same house but it bothers me that she is going out with this guy? I planned on giving it at least to the new year, but not sure if I can wait that long.


Me:39
WW: 39
Kids: 11,8,4
Married: 15 years
Together 17 years
PA discovered November 2016
Separated living in same house - ended 1/2017
Separated, kids in house, taking turns staying in house
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