He is referring to him and his wife. And yes, he is usually referring to something about our daughter. or even just him. But neither very well has nothing to do with his OWW. Who is not in the conversation, nor are they as a couple being referred to at any point. I understand she is a part of my D9's life, but she isn't a part of everything. When someone speaks directly to me, I have always figured "we" or "us" refers to the 2 people having a conversation. Anything he does anymore is no longer an "I". He no longer identifies himself as an individual. Even if I ask him a question that has to do with him, and no one else, not even our kid, he says "we".
I wouldn't take him back in a million years under any circumstances. My anger may have been misdirected. That does irk me when he does that, like I said, probably a pet peeve or a trigger, but I was angry with him about something else, and that just intensified it I think.
I'm surely overwhelmed and if I am being completely honest here, the fact that he is a part of a "we" and doesn't have to do half of the crap I do and the little bit he has to do, is a shared responsibility with HER. I have been fighting my lonliness and the overwhelming feeling of sole responsibility tooth and nail these days. I don't discuss with friends, I discuss it here and in IC. I power through my days by going full force, not giving myself enough time to stop and think about it. And when I get sad and frustrated, I pep talk myself, brag on myself for what a great job I am doing all alone, and how awesome it is all I accomplish and continue to accomplish. That is honestly what gets me through it, and doesn't let me stop and feel the pain or lonliness. I brag to myself. It's all I've got, is to be proud of myself, it's my coping mechanism.
I don't want to be strong all the time, but I realize, if I am not, I'll fall apart. I just wonder how many more years I can keep going like this.
