Emailed W agreeing to give her some money for the car I use but asking her to transfer the ownership into my name. I was surprised to get a series of angry emails asking why I didn't trust her, I had everything and I was receiving bad advice from people!? The last email even asked for a coffee machine which my parents gave to her and S, I ignored as she was just lashing out. I texted her to suggest we meet up ( 4th time in 2016). She came, her hair was darker and she looked tired and older. She said she was tired as it was a Friday. As I suspected she mainly wanted to talk about her R with S. She complained he wouldn't let her visit when he was ill and she can't go to our house. She blamed me for not making him do things with her, saying he is still a minor(16yrs old) and she has no control over him. She asked me how would I feel in the same situation. I deflected the question. She still can't understand why S has little interest in being with her, why he is angry with her etc. She said it has been a year, I said it has been difficult for us too! She wanted to come to cook dinner for us one evening a week. I said I wasn't comfortable with that and S wouldn't be either. We sorted out the car without problems and I ignored her complaining that she can't afford to buy a flat for herself. I told her things about S and me which she always likes to hear. She left giving me big hugs and a couple of kisses. How do I feel? Sorry about her R with S but I can't do anything there. I did mention his mum's idea about her coming round and he just looked at me as if I was mad and said no. Emotionally I still miss her and hate the thought of ever meeting her with OM. Rationally I know she has made her choice and don't expect her to change, she changed her phone app profile twice this weekend to show her smiling in different places. I also feel resentment as I was looking after a recovering child, although I love him dearly! I know what I have to do, GAL, my own path etc but I'm still not over her which frustrates me. A close friend says I'm being too hard on myself but it feels never ending. I know the future is mine to make but it looks bleak and lonely at the moment.
