**Warning... way too much information... proceed at your own risk!**
If anyone remembers me, I am LDW trying to 'spice' up my M! I had started initiating more frequently, and then noticed H has not initiated... in a looooonnnnnnnggggggg time.
Well, last night, he initiated... and I immediately jumped at the chance!!! He quite enjoys spooning, entering me from the back, and using his hands to stimulate me from the front. The longer he stimulated, the more sensitive/painful it got. He did orgasm, but I didn't.
Due to hormone swings and PMS coming on, I just think it was a lost cause, cause no matter what he did, it didn't 'work' for me. I was quite disappointed to say the least!
Thing is, I kind of got upset... not at him, but just a general 'man, I hate when that happens' kind of thing. I told him that due to my particular hormone balance, that it just wasn't going to work. He suggested masturbating, but I declined... too sore at this point.
I had a little fit, complete with crying (hormones???) then we cuddled a bit and fell asleep. I'm embarassed about this display, but I really needed the release that an orgasm gives me... I apologised this morning, but I think I totally scared him off.
I know that due to my cycle, certain times of the month are almost a guarantee that I'm going to orgasm, and other times it's the opposite. I hate that my body is like this! I was looking forward to making this great for both him and me! Is there anything you can suggest when it's not as easy? He would perform oral sex on me at a drop of a hat (a sure thing), but I wanted actual intercourse! Now, I'm wishing I'd gone for the oral!!!
For most men, I think sex is a sure thing... it's just not this way for me, and lots of women I'd say. It's really frustrating, and I really felt let down and saddened, and I woke up with a headache and feeling really nasty!
Now what?
He said he didn't feel 'responsible', and that he felt bad for me... is he going to ever initiate again??? I'd give it another go tonight, only now I'm terrified it would be a repeat performance . Can this situation be salvaged???
