klm, yes, I think there is a connection. I could feel already that time that there is something wrong with him. & then, almost a year later, when I discovered the first affair I looked back and thought about it and understood, in a way. That realisation made it easier for me to get over the affair. And even now I do understand him. He just did too much damage so I not always feel like I want to understand. But deep down I do...
Thanks Kyh. I don't know if he'll go to therapist or not. I would be surprised if he did. I'm not going to ask him about it, gave him already all he needed and won't push. I'm sure that he'll tell me if he goes but I must admit that for the reasons you mention I think I prefer he waits a bit with the therapy...
I continue with preparation for Xmas. We already got and decorated the tree (started to do that a few weeks before Xmas to be able to enjoy our tree as we always leave for holidays). So spending my evenings staring at the tree full of lights and colours. Very calming!
Have an eye biopsy behind me (never knew it existed before they send me for one but it turned out to be not as bad as I thought). Waiting for results... one day freaking out, another day feeling it will be ok. We'll see.
H continues with his efforts. I try to limit the contact as I really want to concentrate on me and my health now but he somehow manages to remind me of his existence on daily basis now. He even brought me a present from his business trip (he was avoiding giving me presents - Mother's Day, b-day... was worried I would misinterpret it... so it's a big change).
