Thanks guys! I'm doing better today so far. My counselor and I went over the issues in our marriage. Not meeting her love language and not solving arguments. We just pushed things under the rug and it kept always coming back. I was too controlling and didn't always listen. I see all of this now and I'm working on improving for myself. Just wish the wife would be around to notice. Last time we really talked about things (over 2 weeks ago) she said if I would have realized all this earlier she knows we could be happy. Just hurts so much to know I missed the opportunity by a matter of months. She is so stubborn and set in her ways now. I just don't see her changing her mind at this point.
I need to stop looking at her fb. I keep waiting for her to take our pictures down and remove me. When we broke up one while dating that was the first thing she did. Guess it's false hope....
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I have unfollowed her. I just haven't done anything else because not many people know of our situation right now. I've changed my profile picture from our wedding photo to just of me a couple weeks ago and she did the same. I hate the social media game of all this. If she files I may change my mind on removing her...
I have unfollowed her. I just haven't done anything else because not many people know of our situation right now. I've changed my profile picture from our wedding photo to just of me a couple weeks ago and she did the same. I hate the social media game of all this. If she files I may change my mind on removing her...
Social media, especially FB, has been the ruin of many marriages. It's hard to remove or unfollow, and I have to force myself not to look at hers. However, due to our children, I haven't unfriended her because she posts things about only once in a blue moon. I still struggle with that.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
One thing that helped me a lot was to just stop using Facebook all together for about 10 days. I twitched a lot at first but when I went back it was with a (slightly) better feeling of detachment.
Theoretically it adds an aura of "mystery" but TBH I don't think my W even noticed being rather deep in the fog at that time. One thing that I've learned in large part because of the pain of so very many 2X4 strikes - do what you do for YOU. You can't manipulate your spouse in any positive way - but you can screw things up by trying.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
My W has stopped with social media, and she is the one who wants out. Not sure if she has been advised by lawyers or its her choosing. I know she was upset at me posting picture of our kids on social media as we did various activities. And she questioned my involvment with another girl when i just liked photos. Which nothing was going on
I see/hear this a lot from the WWs -- that if only you'd gotten "it" sooner, and started making the changes you're now making, it all would have been fine, and you'd still be happily married. This is hot garbage. It is their way of making everything your fault. Not all of it is your fault, maybe even not most of it. Some of it is, guaranteed. Your task is to figure out the things you want to change -- because they'll pop back up and ruin any future R if you don't -- and change them, with no regard for what they'll do for your current R. That's the hardest part -- not doing it "for" her but for yourself, but that distinction is key. And I say that as someone who has struggled as much as anyone to detach, mostly failing to date.
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
