Thanks for sharing the tips for winning (a race). We all can apply these tips to our day-to-day lives.
I hope that you are feeling a bit better today. You've been under a lot of stress and now w/the holidays approaching, the stress will be even more so. Please take care of yourself.
I know you'll be just fine when the 30th of January rolls around. You are a strong, independent woman and will be able to handle this hearing w/class.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Great tips for winning in general! Thanks for sharing them. I know that you will handle things just fine because you are a strong woman. You are an inspiration to so many. Hang in there, lady and know that Molly and I are rooting for you always.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I am so sorry that you are sick and feeling vulnerable. I hope you feel better in all ways soon, and that this will soon be over.
My reaction to your post is that I would like to contact some friendly thugs and have them warn the G off. Alternatively, take out an ad in the paper and do a clever announcement that will keep him away from you.
I don't have much anger left in me, I understand that you don't. I'm weaker than I have ever been. But it has allowed me to become more humble, and I appreciate that. It is a good thing for my new R and for myself.
(((((((V)))))))
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
1. No texts or calls, block WH on all iPhones and iPads. Office phones. Continued with new numbers.
Had to keep my business numbers but blocked him
2. No email, block WH on all email addresses
Didn't stop letters and new emails. In end had to have him deal with my L. Expensive but effective, he even got cross with L.
3. Clear all web browser histories, buy new tablet just for browsing.
Yes, got an android. The Giggalo deleted lots of stuff from family iPad. Didn't realise I could still read his stuff.
4. Block WH on all boards, FB etc
Yes. Watch out for FB settings changes.
5. Do not visit pubs, cafes or restaurants that WH frequents or may frequent
When I know he is in the UK this applies, but this did reduce my triggering
6. Be polite deal with admin issues promptly but no interaction
I use my L.
7. Forward mail promptly
Yes, very little now. I still follow this.
8. Do everything I have to do legally and contractually
No wavering, I meet my deadlines.
9. Move to D or better still annulment immediately, cut all ties
Fins still an issue
10. If I find any of WH things forward them asap with no covering note
Every time.
11. Any bills owed by me to WH are paid by cheque not bank transfer
Every time
12. Other than Gamanon, L, IC and DB, no talking about WH, if any one asks "I hope he finds happiness" and "I don't see or hear from him" and "I get on with my life"
Yes, bland. No one really asks any more.
13. Get my treatment for Trauma and resolve my issues
How long have you got? This is for life now, tackle new brown stuff as it sticks to my shoe.
14. Sell the big house and move to a different address that he has no knowledge of
Not practical until Fins on D finished
15. No contact with WH family other than admin
now dwindled to nothing at all. Extended to mutual friends and his golf mates.
16. No FB posts, no news of my GAL etc
occasional positive stuff posted but all factual.
17. Make my business successful
Not too successful as yet.
18. Grow as a person set myself challenges so my mind is occupied with much more inspiring things
Constantly on going
19. No is my new Mantra when pressurised
That should have read as far as the Giggalo is concerned
20. put aside all photos, joint items so there is no discussion or memories
Yes, I gave all this to the Giggalo in his packing boxes.
21. Give away, recycle or sell items WH gave me or used, unless utility (like light bulbs, fridges etc)
Yes gone.
22. Decorate and move when possible, change the environment
Essential
23. Get fit and well, extraordinary self caress the effects of the stress and trauma are shifted from my nervous system
Sleep is a big big issue or lack of it. Weight is going gradually, I sense I am determined on it
24. Connect with my friends and family, make it clear WH isn't open for discussion "sad but resigned"
Apart from besties.
25. Finish processing the business paperwork so as soon as possible I never see his handwriting or deal with his purchases, clear message boards and his name from template letters. move office
Occasionally I research and find something. Once the Fins are done then it's no issue.
26. No please, thank you or friendliness, just blan bland breeze block
Apart from court I need never see him again
27. No discussion of assets bought or sold, no flash cars (white van woman rules), no jewellery, expensive cars or posh clothes, bland and blah
Still do this.
28. Become someone only a fool would leave but keep that a big secret
only from the Giggalo, in time I can emerge from my cocoon
29. Go GAL on my terms in my time, keeps that private
Yes
30. No dating web sites, keep any friendships very quiet
Yes, not that I have any offers other than group skinny dipping with Doodler!
--------------------------------
I had a plan for NC and so far it's Worked!
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Furthermore, I'm psychic. (Not psychotic like my xW claims.) I'm receiving trans-Atlantic vibes from you. I'm seeing something. I can't really make out what it is. It's getting clearer. It looks like a yellow puddle of water. And now I'm seeing something else. I think it may be a letter of the alphabet. It's getting clearer. It's the letter P. That's it! Your favourite (a Brit misspelling) letter is the letter P.
Am I correct?
I'm beginning to sense that you like Shakespearean plays. I can feel the words forming in my head. One of your favorite (spelled properly) Shakespearean lines is, "To pee or not to pee; that is the question."
The visions are starting to fade. I'm exhausted. I've always found that trans-Atlantic telepathy drains my energy. But, I hope you're proud that I didn't mention anything about skinny dipping.
Indeed P is my favourite letter of the alphabet, you are psychic indeed. It's the initial of H1 and also the first letter of the word Prossecco. It strikes me that lots of Prossecco gives lots Of P. Inescapable.
Don't eat yellow snow BTW.
And I love Shakespeare, he is a good friend of aged Pa too, who quotes him often. That's from times of yore not times gone by which is more Dickens, who reminds me ofthe Giggalo. All that more please.
Indeed the weather is tough for skinny dippy but P is easy to hide in an ocean so P and Skinny Dipping go well together.
Little sis refused to go swimming in the sea because the fish P in it so not so sure about the author naturel skinny dipping.
We're you aware that skinny dipping and doodler share a letter? It's D by the way so I wonder what we can make of that.
Just saying
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Alternatively, take out an ad in the paper and do a clever announcement that will keep him away from you.