Cheesy, I'd say you sleep on it and text back in the morning. Maybe a response of "I can see how that would be hard" would be a good answer and just leave it at that. Acknowledge her difficulties but not take ownership or responsibility for them.
It's so easy to get wrapped up in the emotion and fire back responses. Less is more right now I think. You are doing well and I'm very jealous of what sounded like a good vacation for you!!!
On a side note, sorry to hear about your dad. I hope he's doing better and know that we are always here for you should you need folks to listen.
Hang in there cheesyt! You're strong and going down the right path!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18