Newby here, desperate for some advice (thread 6)

[JRuss]

I'm wondering if there's anything I'm overlooking that I could be doing at this point. It feels wrong not to have a plan or something I'm trying to accomplish w/r/t my R. My W just seems to be gaining strength and heading further and further away, while I sit still, still GALing, still doing my 180s -- to no effect. For a long time, GALing and the 180s made me feel better and proud of what I was doing, the changes I'm making, the improvement I could see and feel, etc. That's sort of dissipated even as I keep them up, and now I'm just sort of mutely sitting there watching my W move emotionally further and further away.

The loneliness is intense, especially at night, before I fall asleep. I feel stuck, like it's all over but for the further passage of time. She's "done" -- I get that statement now.

I think maybe the one area I could explore is going much darker emotionally speaking. My 180s mostly involve acts of service, doing more around the house, listening to her (although we talk less and less at this point), so I haven't wanted to go to the oft-recommended "cordial roommate" mode, but maybe it's time to start ignoring more? I don't know. I guess it's pretty much all over, and this is what it feels like, but I thought I'd throw it out to see if anyone had any advice on things I can try.