Hanging on and hoping for the best

[BillyHo]

Well it was one of the worst things I had to ever witness. I had her do almost all of the talking and take responsibility for her choosing to leave. During I was angry and found myself looking at her thinking how can you do this to them. My 2 oldest cried for an hour straight. She convinced them to go and see her house. I elected to not go along so I could calm down and process everything.

When they returned the boys had calmed down. While they were gone I composed myself. I figured being angry is not going to help the boys get through this. I remember when I was my S10 age and my parents divorced. The lasting memory I have is of my father spitting in my moms face and cussing her out.(she left because he cheated multiple times. I want my boys to see that even though I don't want this I will not be disrespectful to their mother.

A little later I asked W if she wanted to load some stuff in our trucks and take it to her place. She said sure and we did. We unloaded and I helped put a few things together and she bought us all lunch. We had a few nice moments where she just looked at me and cried and hugged me. Later we watched a movie at my house and I fell asleep as I was exhausted from the day's events.