Don't know where I belong.....

[twinmom]

I have "mommy" friends whose kids are friends with my kids. The problem with asking them for help is my (older) kids don't go to school / we don't live near them. My oldest goes to school 30min from our house, my 10yr old is 20min away. And there is no way I would expect someone to take 4 kids!

I'm ok with his family not helping, but I don't want them expecting me to give them attention. I know I have resentment when they don't help but I'm slowly dealing with that.

I love helping others, donating my time/items to help less fortunate at church but when it comes to H's family I've turned into Scrooge!

Do you think I should just remove myself from holidays? I was thinking about just not being here every holiday.

H is still "trying" in the sense he texts me I love you & good morning beautiful when he leaves for work before I'm up. I have phone code but that doesn't mean much as he could just delete.

I'm going to try and practice gratitude, I am going to write down at least one thing every day I'm thankful for/good things in my life.