MLCers do not like to lose the string that binds them to you. They like to know that you are right where they left you pre crisis. In your wife's case, she's not happy w/the changes that are happening in her life and yes, she's having to face some of those consequences now, especially w/the holidays right around the corner.
As for her questioning a friend about you, it could be that she's curious because you aren't begging, pleading, etc., but going on w/your life the best way that you can. It also could be that she's trying to find out if you are seeing someone even though you're not. She feels guilty and ashamed of what she's done and continues to do and if you were dating, this would alleviate some of her guilt.
I would remain hopeful, but keep those expectations very, very low. The holiday season tends to bring some of them closer to their families and once the holiday is over...back out there once again.
It's going to take some time for her to wake up, so leave her in the MLC oven for a while longer. You'll know when she's baked because she'll do everything humanly possible to prove to you that she wants to reconcile. She's got a lot of heavy, hard work to do before that happens.
Continue moving forward and keep the focus on you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
