Vey detached, no longer anxious, in limbo

[Sotto]

Hi Phoebe, I understand how you feel. For me I just didn't want Xmas to be happening that first year. I didn't send cards, or have a tree. I just decided Xmas was one day, for which I had family plans and would get through it. I also had a nasty bug for the 10 days or so prior to Xmas, so I was either in bed or working quietly from home.

So, it was all a bit blah. Last year, I enjoyed it some more and had a few more decorations up and got more into the Christmas spirit. This year, I am having a tree, but it is a gold one and will be rather 'glam' - different from the family tree we used to have.

It does take time and for you the time of year is also bound up in the previous year. For me, BD was summer, so I didn't have that aspect. But I did have the comparison of the previous cosy family Xmas we had. Though looking back I can now see how out of sorts and detached XH had become.

Anyway, have the kind of Xmas that works best for you in all circumstances. If you can't afford presents, give home made chutney or eggs - or make a little something - or just give a card - or whatever seems to work best. Don't worry about it and know that next year, things should be resolved financially and you will be more settled too.

Take care Phoebe - you are doing really well.

Xx