H went to barbeque with me at church friend's house. We had a good time. Ate mooseburgers and moose steaks...salmon and halibut. It was an Alaskan style good time.
H took me to see Ladykillers. It is just ok. We sat on the theatre's couch and cuddled up. That was nice. H had his hand on my thigh most of the movie. We held hands a bit, too.
Negative...Got out of church, H had bought six pack of beer. I told him I didn't want to fight about it. I wouldn't sit with him and watch Sopranos while he was driniking, though. I took a shower, climbed into bed, and watched Sopranos from there. H looked in puzzled. I told him I was going to sleep so might as well watch tv in bed.
Positives H is asking me my opinion on decks and explaining what he is doing.
We went to the Home and Garden Show together.
Hugs and prayers, God is Good...thank you for your intercession St. Rita.... Akgal
Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, our beautiful Mother in Heaven, please pray for marriages hurting throughout the world that they will be healed by God. Pray that the marriages blessed by God will be shielded from all evil. Pray that the Holy Spirit will come to dwell with husbands and wives to strengthen their marriage bonds. Saint Joseph (patron of families), Saint Monica (patron of mothers), Saint Jude, Saint Rita, Saint Philomena, Saint Faustina, Saint Pio, please pray for all marriages and bring the spouses closer to God, and thus, closer to each other. Saint Michael, the Archangel, protect us from all evil influences and protect our family from danger. Pray that our family will stay close to God. In Jesus' name. Amen.
Quote: Am I being unreasonable not wanting H to drink at home?
I don't think you are at all. I would have thought he would have understood that, but maybe it is a goal, mutual understanding to work towards as the relationship keeps improving?
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Hi Akgal - Lots of positives against one tough negative. Looking good, my friend. Please keep posting these positives, it makes us all feel better
I hope I'm not wading in with size nines, I've not gotten caught up with your complete history. Here goes...
Quote: Got out of church, H had bought six pack of beer. I told him I didn't want to fight about it. I wouldn't sit with him and watch Sopranos while he was driniking, though. I took a shower, climbed into bed, and watched Sopranos from there. H looked in puzzled. I told him I was going to sleep so might as well watch tv in bed.
Did this draw him closer to you? I remember the rows mum and dad used to have over his drinking, he just moved from drinking at home to drinking away. So then mum did not see him, AND he was drinking. With my uncle's help, she cottoned on, and started drinking with him, for company. She was always ill the next day, but dad slowed down for her, and eventually (after about 6 months)they both settled on one glass of red wine with dinner every night. Again, I'm not sure of the history here, but entrenched positions are tough to climb out of.
Could altering his drinking habit be a long term goal, with maybe 20 baby steps on the way, so you have progress to celebrate every week? Just a thought. Hugs, Slowly
I'm thrilled to hear you trashed your D papers, that is great news.
As for you being unreasonable about not wanting your H to drink at home...the answer is of course it's okay for you to ask him not to...HOWEVER....think of his bring beer into your house as his unconscious test of YOUR RESOLVE to NOT drink. Remember, he's heard all the promises of sobriety before and watched you slip so there's really no reason YET for him to be convinced that you won't slip again.
The fact is, that when YOU own your sobriety, you could walk into a bar room full of drunks and not have the thought to pick 'one up' ever cross your mind. So don't let his drinking (if it's not a problem for him) become a deal breaker for you.
I wouldn't have taken a drink if my life depended on it the first few years my H was sober, but then, I realized that his sobriety was HIS and ONLY HIS responsibility and so now...on RARE occassions at a social gathering I do enjoy a cocktail and it doesn't phase my H at all.
Quote: Your prayer made me cry. But tears that I and others in my position are understood. So many people seem to think divorce is nothing to go through.
The Prayer made me cry too; for somehing I have lost, something I'll never have.
But the big change around in your sitch is awesome, and hope that this would happen more often!
As for your H drinking; don't look at it as a negative. Like T2 said you are being tested and God is trying to tell you this, tell you that you need to be strong.
I love that the D papers are thrown away! This is hugh and and should see that. There are many of us here that wishes we could have that second chance. Embrace it, and really try to make you and your M better than it ever was!
AKGal, I am away and look what I come back to. This is wonderful, congrats on throwing away the papers.
I would definitely ask about him bringing the beer home. Theoretically, it would be nice just to have resolve and ignore it. Coming from a family of alcoholics, I know that is not always possible. I saw my aunt fall off the wagon too many times just because she just wanted to have "one" with my uncle, who continued to drink.
Guess what? I held her hand as she cried on the bed, with blood pouring out of everywhere. Screaming, "Please, God, don't let me die. I promise, I will stop now." And, alternatively, telling me how they were going to give her a liver transplant. I was 12. I never forgot the pain as she finally realized with terror in her eyes that her body had just shut down and wasn't working anymore. That there would be no transplant, and that I was holding her hand to say goodbye as the doctor slipped the needle filled with morphine into her and she drifted off into sleep for the last time.
No, please, don't risk falling off the wagon. If you are strong enough, that's fine. Please, take care of you. We care about you.
