Moving on to the next phase

[Pax_luv]

Hi Sweet Rouky... Thanks for stopping by.

I'm having a really rough day and have been browsing all the threads for most of the day to try and stay grounded. I believe you and I see it.... He's the one with the issues. This isn't about me. Unfortunately, he is hel! bent on making everyone believe this is all my doing. I even believe it at times. I've never (to my recollection) been on the other side of someone projecting such ugliness and hatred on to me. It's very convincing... And yet it isn't. I've said it before and I'll say it again... It's absolutely crazy making. I know I wasn't the perfect wife, but as another poster said "the punishment doesn't fit the crime."

So, I'm still crawling forward inch by inch and I'm tired. I've never run from my problems before, but for the first time ever I want to. I just want to start over- job, house, etc. I can't wait to put this behind me and yet, like I mentioned before, I'm not even near the summit. Still so much more to climb and I don't have the energy.

I have to gather some more documents for my L as part of stbx demand for production. He has the documents I need and I don't want to ask him... I'll have my lawyer request it for me tomorrow. He is also requiring me to supply documents from before we were married and I have no flipping idea on where to find them (I've moved 5 times during our m and the separation and I have no idea where they could be). This is adding stress, too. Between this and all the end of year stuff at work, I just don't have it in me.

Honestly, what I really want right now is to pretend my problems don't exist and go escape to a cabin somewhere with a big strong man and just take naps on his chest in front of a fire. That's no solution, but it sure would be a nice distraction. Ahhhh a girl can dream, right?